Grand Theft Auto V: Worst Game I’ve Ever Played

Now there’s a statement! I’d imagine that most people would disagree with me. Most people would say that I’m crazy, that I clearly have poor taste in video games, or that I’ve made an intentionally misleading title to grab your attention. Well, to all of that I would say: I can be, I probably do, and I slightly did. What I mean by ‘worst game I’ve ever played’ is not that the game itself is terrible, far from it. What I mean is, since getting the game, I have thought about it non-stop. I think about playing it before bed, when I wake up in the mornings, when I’m at work, even when I’m hanging out with my friends. It’s safe to say that I’m addicted, and I’d imagine that I’m not the only one. This game could potentially rule my life, sometimes I seem to lack focus or drive, even interest – all because I just want to play five more minutes of GTA. That’s why it’s the worst game, not because it’s a bad game, but because it has a bad affect on people.

I guess I should start by explaining exactly what makes this game so addictive. For me, it’s a number of things, probably the most important being the characters and the voice acting. There really are no weak links in this cast. Each character has his or her own unique personality, which is either loveable or detestable (or both in some cases) depending on how Rockstar want to portray them. Take Trevor, for instance. In real life this man would have been imprisoned long, long ago. If not imprisoned then sectioned, for sure. He’s deluded, psychotic, violent, irritable and he has a real anger problem yet, at the same time, he’s charming, witty, charismatic and loveable. I find it astounding that one character can be all of these things. It’s a true testament to the superb calibre of writers (coupled with the fantastic portrayal of the character by Steven Ogg) that Rockstar have at their disposal. But it would be unfair to just pick out this one character; Franklin (portrayed by Shawn Fonteno) and Michael (Ned Luke) play just as an important (and brilliant) role in the game, as do all of the other scores of characters in this vast and vibrant world. Yet, at the same time, this is what drags me in drains away my time. A testament to Rockstar but the bane of my social and working life. It’s the characters and the story that add a depth to this game that is unrivalled anywhere else. The script is blockbuster quality and the expansive game world just adds to the enjoyment.


Yet, it’s not just the story that brings you in. Los Santos is incredibly well developed. The game map is one of the largest ever created, especially for a sandbox title – taking almost 12 minutes to drive from one side to the other, and it’s not just full of unending expanses of forests and desert. Well, it is, but it’s what’s in these expanses that spark your intrigue and your will to explore. Spend just five minutes and you’ll uncover some real gems out in the world of GTA V, completely separate to the story. How is a mere mortal supposed to resist this? How can you expect someone to carry on with their daily lives and not day dream about the endless possibilities that GTA V has on offer? You can’t.


I remember being slightly addicted to Skyrim when it first came out, but that was nothing compared to this. To be perfectly honest, I could write about this game for days – there’s just so much to it that no amount of words can do it justice. But, I’m still worried. Rockstar have only given us half a game so far. At the beginning of October they will be releasing GTA Online. The second half to this already incredible game. GTA Online will give you the opportunity to experience everything in the single player on a multiplayer platform (plus even more), and it’s sure to be amazing. There is no way that I’ll be able to function over the coming month. If I don’t succumb in to the taunts of the game just sitting there on my shelf, I will eventually give in to the peer pressure of my friends begging me to play online with them. There is just no hope, so it looks like I’ll be spending most of October living in my room surviving off of energy drinks, sweets and the joy of playing GTA. Who needs a job, a social life, regular bathing and sunlight, anyways.  

It’s not just the fact that there’s a stellar story on offer, or that there’s tonnes of map to explore. Rockstar have just packed this game to the brim with activities. Racing, rampages, flight schools, shooting ranges, golf courses, tennis courts, triathlons, yoga, swimming, cycling and diving are just a few examples from the endless activities that you can take part in. It’s as though Rockstar have combined Grand Theft Auto IV with Virtua Tennis, Tiger Woods Pro Golf, Need for Speed and The Sims (to name but a few) and then polished the game mechanics, characters and the story to a perfect shine. This game is honestly irresistible. 


So I guess I beg you, no plea with you, not to play this game. It will suck you in and never let go. Your girlfriend / boyfriend will leave you, your family will disown you and you will become some sort of hermit/troll. But rather than living under a bridge you will exist only in the dark depths of your bedroom, stepping outside of your door merely to collect your supply of junk-food and toilet paper. Though, of course, I’m kidding and over-exaggerating, kind of (but not really). Go get it this second, just don’t say that I didn’t warn you!